when i returned to Beijing after approximately one month away, i played the game, as always, of walking around the neighbourhood to see which places have disappeared in my absence, which new businesses or grand ambitions have moved in to replace the failing or derelict, a sort of remapping one’s estrangement within the city. i walked from xiaojingchang hutong to the northern end of andingmen nei, and with hands in pockets passed by a candy bar vendor (new), a book-laden cart full of pirated publications on technology/software (old), and a cardboard box stand topped with rows of socks (old). i walked into the andingmen hotel, where i end up sleeping for several nights, a new tourist in a now familiar city. there was a small exhibition and series of events happening in two of the rooms of the hotel, and it became a quiet but social place to welcome myself back into a place of growing certainty; this was a place delicately juxtaposed with all the awkwardness and adamance that one can have about one’s sense of place in the world. it was called “also space“. during these few days, there was a certain amount of presence, self-consciously experienced and toyed with, a space and socius to make one acutely aware of all the small details of showing and not knowing.

each morning i would wake from the hardish hotel bed in room 221, happy for warmth but tired for tiredness, enter the bathroom and begin to rearrange the selection of hotel offerings, as are commonly found in many temporary lodgings: two plastic wrapped soaps——packaged again in a printed cardboard box——three toothbrushes, two plastic combs with the hotel name in gold-coloured print. I took away one of the toothbrushes and replaced it with a toothbrush in similar packaging from another hotel. I added a plastic wrapped disposable razor labeled, “one to one”, not knowing which hotel i may have taken it from. another time and another space. a sewing kit from yet another hotel, travel-sized toothpaste from germany, travel-sized moisturizing lotion from hong kong. over the course of these few days, some of the items disappeared or were refilled by the service personnel, the blue towels were replenished with white ones. i thought about the possibility of being absolutely present in a place which one can deem home and not home at the same time. when the maid did not make the bed, i did it for her. but i left one of my hairs on the pillowcase along with a dried mandarin peel, and i wondered if any of our guests would notice and ask, “is this an artwork, too?” it’s a funny game to play, to observe everything in an unexpected place as possibly “art”. perhaps not so different from a game of trying to notice all the places that have disappeared or been born in one’s absence.

there was a certain consciousness of presence that i attempted to maintain in these days, living in a hotel in my “home” city. i commuted back and forth to my flat to change clothing, deliberately sprayed on too much perfume. i tried to pay attention to artworks, but fell asleep; a conversation would float past and i would suddenly remember something else that i was supposed to do. and only after a few treks between xiaojingchang and the northern end of andingmen nei did i notice the disappearance of the 24 hour Quick convenience store (old) and insertion of Bee’s cafe (new). Workers move on and on. Presence is a just-fading, a recognition of small distractions.

If we had not noticed the miniscule details of change, development and/or the passing of time around us, would we have missed a minor referencing of the present, a consciousness of our own time away from now, self-reference, a meta-presencing? Present that cannot exist, like a young architect asking questions in the form of statements about scale, he discovers his talk is not there——μετά as “after” or “beyond”, as “with”, “adjacent” and “self”.

かっぽう着を作る一日

先週の木曜日、星ヶ丘洋裁学校で秋のフェスタの特別授業として開催させていただいたワークショップは５人の方に参加していただきました。今回はミシンの設 備のないギャラリーでの開催ということもあり、当初みなさんにはエプロンの部分だけを手縫いで作っていただく予定だったのですが、参加されていた方の希望 もあり、かっぽう着作りの一通りを一緒に進めて行く内容に変更しました。そのため、作業量のかなり多い内容になりましたが、時間も大幅に延長させていただ き、なんとか５人５様のかっぽう着の出来あがりがイメージできるところまで作り、仕上げは自宅でというかたちで持ち帰っていただきました。

一 度に詰め込んでたくさんのことをしたので、参加者の方はちょっと消化不良…！？だったのでは、と心配していますが、一通り手を動かして仕上げれば、個々の 作業への理解も後から付いてくると思います。また実際着てみることでも、身体の動きと衣服の構造の関係というのも経験できます。ぜひ、また２着目、３着目 に挑戦していただき、自分に合った着やすいかっぽう着を発見していただければと思います。

後日、あちらこちらから「ワークショップ、参加したかった！」と声を掛けていただきました。今回は初めての試みでしたが、また今回の反省点を活かして、内容を整理した形で続けていけたらと思っています。ブログ上でまたご案内させていただきますね。

そ れにしても、星ヶ丘洋裁学校、ほとんど丸一日の時間を過ごさせていただきましたが、ほんとうに静かな時間のながれる、すてきな場所でした。ワークショップ が、うまく進められるかどうかとても心配でしたが、敷地内に入ると、前から知っていた場所のように心が落ち着き、その気持ちをまん中に据えて、行うことが できました。ありがとうございました。

www.hibitann.exblog.jp |  www.iwishicoulddescribeittoyoubetter.net/us/anyway/kappogi.html

Posted by anyway | more »

at night i dream i speak

for the full moon tonight, the others away or asleep…中秋安

“晚上我做梦说话, 白天做不了什么”

[still image from new work-in-progress, www.overseasproject.net]

Posted by 丫 | reply »

to find and not find the centre of things, all things aside

above: putting up the exhibition (photo by 高灵 Gao Ling); below: walking back after finishing the installation ｜ 上海 shanghai，2009年9月

i am sorry. time is everything.

cannot go there, too much or too little, traveling, hanging there, a collection, hanging on. i seem to have an affinity for stories of people getting lost, perhaps a bit too direct a reference yet were i to introduce myself to you as that one who liked to find this little thing in the street it perhaps would remain too ridiculously nebulous.

direct.

direction.

we would have been looking in the wrong direction to go astray, to find the beside. aside, as in put in reserve, for future use, the collection of objects for which we may find value or function at another time. we never know what will become useful in the end, or the lessons come too late, i feel the top of her head and wonder what positions i layed in as a child, what positions i moved in sleep, next to you or dreaming without you. we cannot always think so functionally, in love and in war. i don’t strategize very well. but we may very well have a hunch.

a hunch is an open space of time, a forethought without expectation, like a collection of random things for which we may find use later. i suppose it could be important to figure out how to make use of them, but perhaps their being together could be enough. find meaning beyond use value, a cabinet of curiousities, our collection of oddities.

that’s the thing i’ve been missing lately. to take time for my collection of oddities, to try to go back to a certain kind of objectivity without expecting too much. i have a hunch. perhaps i was looking in the wrong direction and now find myself lost, a story that i liked to hear, her voice in two languages on loop. it’s my own aside that is now addressed to you, without letting the other characters hear, a story shared without knowing if anyone is listening. you, dear audience member or director, the lights are shining so bright…i cannot see if you are out there.

Posted by 丫 | reply »

“i realize i didn’t take so many photos recently. although i often see the people i really want to document. it’s always too late or i feel bad to do it.”

从三月份在中国国内《穿》杂志可以在淘宝网买。在大阪可以在国立国際美術館于iTohen买。

Wear journal is now available in Osaka at The National Museum of Art, Osaka and iTohen. Within China, online orders can be placed via taobao.

[drawing on left from 穿 Wear, photo on right by anyway. Thank you, 小蔡 and aka.]

Posted by 丫 | reply »

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