pending other posts, possible posts, about loss and grounding, and journeys, and drifting, always drifting, of course. an old image from the last days with the scanner at 12 warmington tower. i left london for beijing the day after. to return and to leave. a last one from this series before the year ends. this series that brought together and parted. a conversation with the silence of one. a silence that had started then and is still a silence today. before the year ends. the elbows. the scratches are from a long bout of forgetfulness resulting in negatives and prints being left at the konica place on dongsinandajie for nearly a year. upon returning i had still forgotten and was lucky that the staff had still remembered. scratches possibly from the tea flask of the guy with glasses, or a pair of scissors, an ice-cream wrapper, a pencil, the edge of the drawer, a quick doodle of a bunny rabbit, a paper clip, shopping or to do lists, an enlargement order, the order of a ballerina portrait to be printed on stone, slate stone, or bassie en adriaan or weiwei and her husband who also grace the interior of this store. not far from tiananmen. tiananmen. we spoke of tiananmen today. here. away. “yeah, you know that market, behind there, behind tiananmen square.” “i can’t remember the name.” “the wholesale one.” “no, not tianyi.” “just a second, let me ask.” ….”xidan.” “i went back in august this year and bought loads of things there.” “there was this handbag i bought and everyone here thought it must be over a 1000 dirhams or something but it was only 70 kuai.” we speak of inflation at the dinner table. the elbows. the elbows resting on the edge. the elbows of a you i have left. a you who was not there on this day. a you who’s elbows are in a far darker place than merely the shadow cast upon us by someone standing behind.
Posted by a | more »展览题为“如何独处” The Title of the Show is ‘How to Be Alone’
1// 《但愿我能为您描绘得更好》第二期里献给友子的歌: “菜单／那么今夜何处是京都／猫咪马琳”（演唱者：“声音向导”乐队，声音介入部分：何颖雅、何京蕴） From the publication iwishicoulddescribeittoyoubetter number two, for Tomoko: “Menu/So Where Is Kyoto Tonight?/Mullin The Mog” by DirectorSound with inserts by Elaine W. HO and Anouchka van DRIEL
2// “解手与生产”，尝试为高灵口头翻译Paul CHAN的文本 “Pee and Production”, trying to orally translate a text by Paul CHAN to GAO Ling
3// 爸爸骑着摩托， 儿子坐在后座上打着快板， 我们一起在儿童电影夜场喝了点酒，家作坊2010年 The boy comes home with his father playing kuaiban, we had been drinking at the kids’ movie night, HomeShop 2010
4// “你好呀，劳伦斯老师！” 这段对我外婆的采访录音是1991年我中学历史课上的家庭作业——“口述历史”，我妈妈也在“其间”。 “Hellll-o Mizz Lawrence!” An oral history project, my grandmother, mother and me, 1991
5// 五岁的我，在数数和唱歌 When I was 5 years old, counting and singing
6// 我在购买的迷你SD卡上找到了70多首歌，从中选了十首歌并通过数码处理，把它们的节拍统一成每分钟120拍（特殊感谢Ryan KING在数码处理） Music found on the micro-SD cards purchased to create this work, whereby among 70 songs in total ten were chosen and digitally synced at 120 beats per minute (processing courtesy of Ryan KING)
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装置在《第三房：如何独处》展览，站台中国，2010年11月11日－2011年1月24日
Installation part of The Third Party: How to Be Alone (or nowhere else am i safe from the question: why here?), on view at Platform China, 11 November 2010 – 24 January 2011
inventory, for aikun volume 2
from a contribution to aikun zine number 2, by 王汉丽 Regina Ho. Recording by her daughter 丫, April 2010.
Posted by 丫 | reply »samples, what to say
色々模様
なかなか整理できずに放ってあったかっぽう着の写真を、明日のセミナーのために少し整理しました。パソコンのディスプレイに小さく並んだかっぽう着が楽しくって…こうやって見ると色々作ったものです。
Posted by anyway | reply »to find and not find the centre of things, all things aside
above: putting up the exhibition (photo by 高灵 Gao Ling); below: walking back after finishing the installation ｜ 上海 shanghai，2009年9月
i am sorry. time is everything.
cannot go there, too much or too little, traveling, hanging there, a collection, hanging on. i seem to have an affinity for stories of people getting lost, perhaps a bit too direct a reference yet were i to introduce myself to you as that one who liked to find this little thing in the street it perhaps would remain too ridiculously nebulous.
direct.
direction.
we would have been looking in the wrong direction to go astray, to find the beside. aside, as in put in reserve, for future use, the collection of objects for which we may find value or function at another time. we never know what will become useful in the end, or the lessons come too late, i feel the top of her head and wonder what positions i layed in as a child, what positions i moved in sleep, next to you or dreaming without you. we cannot always think so functionally, in love and in war. i don’t strategize very well. but we may very well have a hunch.
a hunch is an open space of time, a forethought without expectation, like a collection of random things for which we may find use later. i suppose it could be important to figure out how to make use of them, but perhaps their being together could be enough. find meaning beyond use value, a cabinet of curiousities, our collection of oddities.
that’s the thing i’ve been missing lately. to take time for my collection of oddities, to try to go back to a certain kind of objectivity without expecting too much. i have a hunch. perhaps i was looking in the wrong direction and now find myself lost, a story that i liked to hear, her voice in two languages on loop. it’s my own aside that is now addressed to you, without letting the other characters hear, a story shared without knowing if anyone is listening. you, dear audience member or director, the lights are shining so bright…i cannot see if you are out there.
Posted by 丫 | reply »in passing, black-capped chickadee
Michael writes to H.F: “We enjoy the space between being ‘in the know’ and simply being attentive to one’s social environment where the unexpected may occur, setting up an interaction that will provide a meaningful communication, ‘loading the decks’.”
[photos by 戴璞 Dai Pu]
It ends with a face in rain, or two, that washed away one after the other like passing faces in a party.
The next day, he sends me a message: “One day I will explain to you why things are so complicated.”
And then it becomes difficult to respond, silence an only recourse, uncovering to plot thickening. The loneliness amidst joyful crowds, like the stripping away of an impersonator who says, “I don’t know. I was born that way.”
People ask questions all the time to which we must answer, “I don’t know.” I can’t remember anymore which way it was when i was born, but somehow I always return to a letter read as a child, from an old woman. I read her as if I were her already, so confounded by the inexplicability of my thoughts, to the possibility of their being expressed. It seems now, in future, utterly impossible to answer any question asked of me. I find less and less the words to place the complexities of my feeling.
Perhaps now back outside of each of those moments, I could answer each of you in turn, eloquently and honestly. Like an old woman’s remembrance of the sound of a black-capped chickadee, a doing nothing kind of being or simply, so simply, the fullness of…
Posted by 丫 | reply »a comment to 什么是文化交流? 或者什么是性交?
– Cultural exchange – Interesting examination – Hm, difficult to define. I think everybody (as the videoclip proves) has their own definition. I added parts from the interview I made with the Chinese women. 文化交流? I was thinking of the word 交流 and it reminded me of the question where I asked to define “性交”. And in addition, I thought Ouyang’s definition of cultural exchange was also very special…and fits to this question.
m：你是怎么理解做爱的？你介意么？
interview1： 你是指两个女生么？我ok的。如果抛开孕育下一代这个想法，这是人的基本的生理需求，很正常。
m：你觉得做爱和性交是一个意思么？
interview1：我觉得意思差不多，是不是一个褒义一个贬义啊？呃…不太知道。
m：为什么是性交会有贬义？那个性是指什么？交是交流吗？
interview1：呃…交，交换一下东西吧。交换一种感受，一种体验吧。可能有些感触只能是通过异性来带给你的。
m：那如果是两个男人在做爱，你可以用性交来形容吗？
interview1：呃…..不知道，应该可以吧。性没有规定是只有异性之间的吧，我不太知道这个词究竟应该怎么定义。
m: 那对女的来说差不多，那自慰是做爱吗？
interview1：我觉得做爱是两个人的事情，而自慰是一个人的，可能效果是一样的，但心里感觉不一样吧。
interview1： 因为每个人都对自己的身体很好奇，我觉得很正常。但是可能自慰这个词在我脑海中出现的比较晚，所以我不是很了解，但是当它出现的时候我还是可以接受的。可能如果再出现的早一点，小学初中的话，我就不能够理解。
m：你能用你自己的话来解释一下“做爱”或者“性交”吗？
interview2：是名词解释吗？就是很自然的一种行为吧。然后，那是生活的一部分。譬如说，如果你把兴趣爱好和工作放在一起，然后你的感情生活和性生活又是一块东西。如果说定义的话，就是生活的一部分而已，没觉得有太多别的东西… 其实我也不是经常会有这样的体力活动，但是我们都会希望会有一个稳定的东西，因为那样⋯⋯就像我之前跟你说过的，我觉得两样东西是不可以分开的。（性）是一个你希望它能够稳定而有故事的东西。如果非要解释的话，我会觉得是一种必需品，不一定在每个阶段都会出现，但是它会是必需品。
m：你觉得“做爱”和“性交”的意思是一样的吗？
interview2：我觉得“性交”也包括动物对吗，但“做爱”是人才用的，你不会说，在街上看到两条狗在做爱。哎，但是也可以，好像也可以这么说。“性交”感觉是写在书上的字…“性交”听起来有动物性。你不会跟你的男朋友说，我们来“性交”吧，你会觉得这句话说出来特别楞。但你会说，我们“做爱”吧。
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